Responsibilities beyond diaper changing

“I feel like crying” – I said to my sister in law when we first arrived home from the hospital.

There’s something about becoming a mom for the first time. Of course it’s scientifically proven that hormones can cause postpartum depression. But it wasn’t just that. I felt like crying cause I knew my life changed forever the moment I gave birth to my daughter.

I have a new responsibility towards her. I can’t fail. I must not fail. She’s the reflection of me. If she ever does anything wrong, I’m the one to blame. If she ever got sick, I should be the one who figures everything out and makes her feel better.

It’s about being committed for a lifetime to a creature that depends on you for the first 18 years of their lives.

You’re their role model. You can’t ever be wrong. But who said that? What is this peer pressure that society puts on us! Who said that I know everything? What makes me qualified to be a good mom?!

The moment I got married I knew I signed up for such responsibilities. But I’m afraid no one warned me about the days where changing diapers is the least of your worries. Or sleeping uninterrupted wouldn’t solve the motherhood syndrome.

These might be just thoughts. But I know I’m not the only mom who felt this even if it was for a few seconds..